On Thursday July 7, we completed our nine-month mentorship programme at the Peninsula All Suite Hotel in Sea Point, with seven of their staff. We were so moved on the final day when the participants reflected on how far they had come and how much they had grown during our nine months working with them.
The aim of the programme was to help participants to reclaim power in their lives through identifying what they wanted in their working and personal lives. Through monthly group and individual sessions, we worked with goal setting, communication skills and trust building.
There were very challenging moments during these nine months where participants really looked at their relationships with themselves and one another. We were amazed at how they took on what we shared with them and made it their own.
The group sessions focused on developing listening skills, looking at assumptions, how to respond versus react, working with triggers and building trust. It was amazing to watch the group as they grew over the nine months. By working with their own assumptions, they became more open and understanding towards their colleagues, family and friends. The group particularly drew a lot from the session on learning about responding and reacting. Almost all of the members came back the following month and related a story of how they chose to handle conflict differently. In choosing to respond and to actually listen to the other person, they found they felt more power in situations of conflict. By taking a step back instead of simply reacting, one participant was able to hear the other person’s side of the story. As a result he developed a relationship with one of his colleagues, with whom he did not get along with before.
The programme also supported the participants when they came up against challenges in achieving their goals. By identifying why something was a challenge and then how to deal with it, participants were able to find solutions to their own problems and develop tools within themselves to face challenges on their own. Self-confidence and the ability to speak and be heard were two of the things that participants said they gained.
One participant began the programme off with many goals for other people. This she must do because her mother wants her to, this she must do because it is the right thing to do, etc. We asked her a difficult question - Can you do something for you every day? - and we challenged her to think about why she doesn't have any goals for herself. Of course she never completed all of the goals she had made for everyone else, but as the months went on she began to explore who she was. Through hair styles and religion, relationships and work, she explored and stood up for herself. She started to use her silence as a tool, choosing to speak and creating clear boundaries. She literally glowed, and went from coming to work late and being completely unmotivated to getting a phenomenal job offer. This young woman inspired us with the way she took her own life into her hands and decided she deserved happiness.
Two participants, who were partnered together in our individual/partner sessions, became mirrors of growth for each other. One of the participants initially struggled to be open with people at work, and by the end of the nine months she and her partner swore they could tell each other anything and that they were helping each other become who they want to be. Toni and I watched them form the kind of bond we have with each other, where we can say the hard things and be there to celebrate the good.
Another participant regained a sense of personal power in his life, through working with choice. He saw how in each situation – whether good or bad – he has a choice. He didn't initially feel that listening is important, and he talked about power as something over other people. But by becoming aware of his choices, he developed a different relationship to the power within him and how he can use that power. By the last session, he was naming one of his qualities as caring about other people. He was able to see that he does in fact know what he needs and how to take care of his needs. His goals shifted from being general and small to involving major steps in his job and relationships. He took ownership of his goals and was certain that there would be a way of achieving them.
Each person in the group feels that they have a stronger sense of self as a result of the programme. They all feel more energised and motivated to work towards their goals and have the support now to do so.
*Thank you to General Manager, Chris Godenir for inviting us to work with his staff. It was a wonderful experience working with you all.
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